Navigating the minefield of workplace communication requires finesse, particularly when giving feedback that’s hard to hear. This article distills expert advice into practical tips that promise to transform difficult conversations into opportunities for growth. Gain the confidence to address specific behaviors, understand root causes, and foster a collaborative environment with expert-backed strategies.
- Provide Constructive Feedback with Empathy
- Address Specific Behaviors, Not Character
- Use Role-Playing for Improvement
- Understand Root Causes Before Judging
- Address Issues with Structured Methods
- Be Direct and Share Overall Context
- Focus on Customer Experience
- Review the Campaign Approach and Offer Suggestions
- Focus on Behavior and Collaborate on Solutions
- Give Feedback with Empathy and Clarity
- Create a Safe Environment for Collaboration
- Document Specific Examples and Offer Solutions
- Address Communication Issues Early and Clearly
Provide Constructive Feedback with Empathy
For me, it’s most difficult to give negative feedback to employees when I can see that they’re genuinely trying but just not meeting the mark. A few years ago, I faced this situation with a young recruiter on the team. They were eager and intelligent but struggled with organization, which led to missing a critical deadline to submit candidate profiles for a high-priority client. This caused frustration for the client and risked damaging our firm’s reputation. Additionally, their email communications with clients were overly informal, written with a very casual tone and containing emoticons, typos, and other errors that reflected poorly on our professionalism.
To address the situation, I scheduled a one-on-one conversation with the recruiter. Before the meeting, I prepared by gathering specific examples of the concerns, including documentation of the missed deadline and client feedback about their communication style. During our discussion, I started by acknowledging their strengths, such as their positive attitude, eagerness to learn, and strong work ethic. This helped set a constructive tone and showed that my feedback was coming from a place of support rather than criticism.
I then clearly outlined the areas for improvement. I explained the importance of staying organized to meet deadlines and maintaining a professional tone in client interactions to uphold our firm’s standards. I also asked for their perspective, inviting them to share any challenges they were facing or feedback about the work environment that might be contributing to these issues. This approach encouraged an open dialogue and helped them feel heard.
To support their growth, I arranged for the employee to shadow one of our senior recruiters. This gave them an opportunity to observe effective methods for task management and professional communication. Over the following months, I noticed significant improvements. While it took some time before I could fully trust them with high-profile searches without supervision, they eventually reached that point with consistent effort and guidance.
For other leaders in similar situations, my advice would be to approach feedback with empathy and clarity. Be specific about the issues and their impact, but also recognize the employee’s potential and strengths. Provide actionable steps for improvement and offer ongoing support, such as mentorship or additional training.
Archie Payne, Co-Founder & President, CalTek Staffing
Address Specific Behaviors Not Character
A few years ago, I had to give honest yet difficult feedback to a senior developer on my team. They were highly skilled but had a communication style that was creating friction in team discussions. It wasn’t an easy conversation to initiate, but I knew it was necessary for the team’s growth. I started by scheduling a private meeting to ensure the discussion felt respectful. I opened with positive feedback, acknowledging their technical expertise and contributions. Then I transitioned to the issue, focusing on specific behaviors rather than making it personal.
For instance, I said, “In team meetings, I’ve noticed interruptions when others are sharing ideas, and it’s discouraging participation.” Framing it this way made it about their actions, not their character. After sharing the feedback, I paused to listen to their perspective. Then, I invited them to collaborate on a solution by asking, “What do you think can help create a more collaborative space?” This approach turned the feedback into a two-way conversation and encouraged accountability.
My advice to leaders: give feedback with empathy and clarity. Focus on behaviors, not personality. Be specific, listen, and involve the person in finding solutions. Difficult feedback isn’t just about correction it’s about growth for the individual and the team.
Vikrant Bhalodia, Head of Marketing & People Ops, WeblineIndia
Use Role-Playing for Improvement
I had to tell one of my best agents that her customer calls were turning defensive whenever a client challenged her. I asked if we could chat in private and opened the conversation by pointing out how much I appreciated her work ethic and how she always went the extra mile for our team. Then, I mentioned specific call recordings where her tone shifted, explaining that it might come across as confrontational to some customers.
Rather than placing blame, I proposed role-playing solutions: she could acknowledge the customer’s frustration and then pivot to problem-solving language. My key advice is to offer concrete examples of the issue, express genuine belief in the person’s abilities, and work together on a path forward. That blend of honest feedback and supportive coaching usually wins more buy-in than an outright reprimand.
James Shaffer, Managing Director, Insurance Panda
Understand Root Causes Before Judging
Several years ago, one of our most valued team members suddenly started struggling to meet deadlines and expectations. Their productivity absolutely nosedived, and I wondered if they might be “quiet quitting.”
But that didn’t seem to be in their nature; I suspected something deeper might be affecting their performance.
When I sat down with the employee to discuss the issue, I approached the conversation with empathy and curiosity, rather than jumping to conclusions. To my surprise, the team member opened up about a recent death in their family. The personal loss was clearly impacting their ability to stay focused and meet work expectations, despite their best efforts to manage everything.
Once I understood the situation, I was able to offer support and resources, including additional flexibility in their schedule while they navigated the difficult time. Together, we set a plan in place for them to gradually get back on track with their workload as they worked through their personal challenges.
This experience taught me an important lesson: team member performance issues often involve a broader context that isn’t always immediately apparent. As leaders, it’s crucial to dig deeper and understand the root cause before jumping to conclusions or placing blame. By approaching the situation with compassion and offering the right resources, we can help our team members overcome personal hurdles and set them up for success in the long run.
It reinforced that understanding and supporting the whole person, both professionally and personally, often leads to the best outcomes for everyone involved.
Sarah Chen, Founder and Principal, Recruit Engineering
Address Issues with Structured Methods
I once had a technician who was great at his job but had a habit of rushing through tasks, which led to small but important mistakes. It was not a matter of skill. He knew his work inside and out. The problem was that he was moving too fast and not double-checking his work, which caused issues that had to be fixed later. I knew he took pride in his work, so I had to approach the conversation in a way that would not make him feel like I was questioning his abilities.
I used the SBI (Situation Behavior Impact) method to give him feedback in a clear and constructive way. I first pulled him aside after a job and explained the situation, which was a recent project where a wiring connection was left loose. Then, I described the behavior, which was rushing through the final checks and not following our usual testing procedure. After that, I explained the impact, which was that our team had to return to fix the issue, delaying the client’s project and affecting our schedule. I kept the conversation direct but made it clear that I was bringing it up because I knew he could do better.
My advice to other leaders is to address issues early and use a structured method like SBI. It keeps the feedback factual, removes unnecessary emotions, and helps the person understand exactly what needs to change. Nobody likes being criticized, but if they see the feedback is about helping them improve, they will be more likely to take it seriously.
Daniel Vasilevski, Director & Owner, Bright Force Electrical
Be Direct and Share Overall Context
I once let a team member know that his services no longer aligned with the needs of the business and that I would pause on receiving his help. The team member was a designer. After he had done initial work for our product, I decided that I needed to prioritize speed over the appearance of the product. I met with the designer and explained this overall context and the reasoning—I needed to get beta testers—and explained that he had done excellent work to this point and that I may restart his services at a later time. He was on board with the decision and even returned and provided more services months down the road when he was again needed.
My takeaways from this experience are to 1) be direct with the team member as it doesn’t do a service to be unclear, 2) share the overall context of the situation in a way that the team member understands the decision, possibly even to the point where he/she would make the same decision, and 3) stay in touch with the team member. I would offer these as advice for any other leaders in a similar situation.
Ernest Lopez, Founder & CEO, MergerAI
Focus on Customer Experience
I once had to address a technician who was receiving repeated complaints from customers about unclear communication during service visits. I believe in starting these discussions by focusing on the customer experience rather than placing blame. During our conversation, we reviewed specific examples of feedback and realized the issue stemmed from the overuse of technical jargon, which confused clients.
Together, we developed a simple script for explaining repairs in plain language and added a checklist to confirm clients understood the work before leaving. Over the next quarter, their customer satisfaction scores improved by 40%, and we saw a noticeable drop in follow-up calls for clarification.
For me personally, I think effective feedback goes beyond identifying the issue—it’s about finding practical ways to help someone improve while making them feel supported. My advice to leaders in similar situations is to dig deeper into the “why” behind the problem.
Caleb John, Director, Exceed Plumbing
Review Campaign Approach and Offer Suggestions
There was a time when a team member’s campaign didn’t reach the level of engagement I had expected it to reach. Instead of only pointing out shortcomings, I decided to review the campaign with them and discuss the approach they had taken. I asked about their thought process, the tools they were using, and any challenges they encountered while carrying out the campaign.
During our discussion, I realized that some assumptions had been made about the target audience that did not fully resonate with the preferences of the actual audience. I provided recommendations for fine-tuning audience segmentation and testing various content strategies to stay in line with our overall objectives.
My recommendation to other leaders is to be open to receiving feedback in a collaborative manner. Take the time to understand the reasoning behind decisions and offer constructive suggestions that encourage growth. It’s important to create a safe space for open dialogue, so team members feel comfortable sharing their challenges.
Offering clear guidance while emphasizing improvement over fault helps maintain motivation and sets a foundation for future success. This approach fosters both individual and team growth while keeping everyone aligned with broader goals.
Marcus Crutcher, President and Co-Founder, Marketing Hatchery
Focus on Behavior and Collaborate on Solutions
I had to give tough feedback to a senior team member who was technically brilliant but struggled with meeting deadlines, which was affecting project timelines and team morale. Knowing the impact this conversation could have, I approached it with a mix of empathy and clarity.
I started by acknowledging their technical expertise and the value they brought to the team, which helped set a positive tone. Then, I outlined specific examples of missed deadlines and how they affected the project and team dynamics. Instead of making it purely about their shortcomings, I framed the discussion around finding solutions. Together, we worked on creating a structured workflow and set up regular check-ins to track progress.
The result was transformative—not only did their performance improve, but they also became more mindful of time management and started mentoring others in the team.
My advice: Focus on behavior, not the person, and turn the conversation into a collaborative problem-solving session. Difficult feedback is easier to give when it’s rooted in mutual respect and a shared goal of improvement.
Payal Gupta, Co Founder, Tecknotrove
Give Feedback with Empathy and Clarity
Giving difficult feedback, especially to valuable senior team members, needs to be approached cautiously. First, think about whether the feedback is actually warranted, especially if the person is a valuable asset in other ways. Are you overreacting to something? Are there mitigating circumstances? Is this a one-off? Is it a harmless quirk of personality that you can work around?
However, if it is important enough and serious enough, ensure you know exactly what to say. I find that scripting my key messages often helps me keep the focus on what I need to convey and avoids segueing into unnecessary areas. Don’t beat around the bush. Once you’ve decided to address a point, just address it.
Try and bring in positive points to emphasize the value the person adds to the organization if you want them to stay motivated and work with a positive mindset towards change.
Ensure you listen carefully to what the other person has to say. Are there nuggets of value there that could help you work better and more effectively?
And always set clear targets, timelines, and next steps.
Anu Ramani, Managing Director, Isoline Communications Limited
Create Safe Environment for Collaboration
I had a team member who was simply refusing to collaborate with others despite it being a group project. Granted, the person was experienced and knew what they were doing; however, other team members felt that they were in the dark. After constant back and forth, I had to conduct a serious one-on-one to share my point that this sort of behavior would not be tolerated. These are the times when you truly need to balance disciplinary action with compassion for your employees.
In our conversation, they admitted that they felt their ideas were not understood by the team, which led us to have a more serious discussion that juniors require guidance to understand. We simply cannot dismiss their questions, as they are still learning. Finally, after a 1:20 hour-long meeting, we were on the same page. We also worked on building more trust within the group.
The advice here: Create an environment where people feel safe to collaborate. When employees know their opinions will be valued and understood, they’re more likely to engage.
Gursharan Singh, Co-Founder, WebSpero Solutions
Document Specific Examples and Offer Solutions
Being a co-founder of an e-commerce store specializing in Everyday Essentials, I’m deeply invested in the success of our social media strategy. We have a talented marketing team, but lately, their social media posts had been inconsistent and lacking in engagement. We noticed a decline in social media traffic and suspected this may be contributing to it.
Our Approach:
Documentation: Before the feedback session, we documented specific examples of inconsistent performance, which included:
- Screenshots of poorly performing posts.
- Data on engagement metrics (likes, comments, shares) for recent posts compared to past performance.
- Instances of missed deadlines or missed opportunities.
So we scheduled a private one-on-one meeting with the team, choosing a time and location where they feel comfortable and could speak openly.
We focused on behavior, not personality, by framing the feedback around specific behaviors and their impact.
Instead of saying, “You’re not a good writer,” we said, “The recent social media posts could benefit from stronger calls to action and more engaging captions.”
And instead of saying, “You’re lazy,” we rather said, “I’ve noticed some missed deadlines for social media posts. Can you tell me more about what’s causing these delays?”
We were actively listening and encouraged open communication to their perspective. We also asked clarifying questions like:
- “What are your thoughts on the recent performance of our social media posts?”
- “What challenges are you facing in meeting deadlines?”
- “What resources or support do you need to improve your performance?”
We offered constructive solutions by suggesting specific improvement strategies, such as brainstorming new content ideas together.
Regular check-ins were scheduled to monitor their progress and we provided ongoing support.
Advice for Other Leaders:
- Build Trust: Cultivate an open and trusting relationship with your team members.
- Regular Feedback: Provide regular, constructive feedback, not just when there are issues.
- Focus on Growth: Frame feedback as an opportunity for growth and development.
- Lead by Example: Demonstrate the importance of receiving and giving feedback constructively.
- Empathy and Compassion: Approach difficult conversations with empathy and understanding.
By following these steps, you can deliver difficult feedback effectively, improve team performance, and foster a positive and productive work environment.
Shilpa Bhatia, Strategist, The SGStore
Address Communication Issues Early and Clearly
I once had to talk to a team member whose inconsistent communication with clients was slowing down campaign progress. I set up a private one-on-one chat, approached it with empathy, and gave specific examples of where things could improve. I explained how clear communication is key to building trust with clients and maintaining our reputation. Together, we came up with a plan to fix things, like setting clear communication guidelines and having regular check-ins.
For other leaders: Keep it clear, empathetic, and focused on solutions. Address issues early, involve the person in creating a plan, and remind them how much they bring to the team. It helps make the feedback constructive and encouraging.
Morsalin Rahman, Senior Web Developer, Track N Lead Digitals & IT Solutions