As the medium of email has matured, employees have become used to seeing warnings appended to the emails they send and receive: warnings to protect against waste (Do you really need to print this email?), security breaches (This email originated from outside of the organization) and looking silly (You may have forgotten to attach a file), for example.
But one of the most harmful characteristics of the common work email is less about human error or bad actors and more to do with institutionalized snark: passive-aggressive language.
Out-and-out rudeness is discouraged in the workplace, and communication and conflict resolution training are an afterthought for many companies. And so, it has become an automatic response to disguise disagreement or disapproval with lukewarm niceties. Passive-aggressive phrases like “As you are, no doubt, aware…” or “Respectfully…” may work as a corrective in the short run, but they also plant the seeds of resentment. And they stand in the way of building the kind of constructive dialogue that characterizes many successful business families.
Of course, it’s also possible to be passive-aggressive without even realizing it — or to appear passive-aggressive even if you’re just trying to be polite! This is why Mailsuite has created a new early warning tool to help you transform passive-aggressive comments in your emails into constructive prompts with a simple Google Chrome extension.
First, though, we carried out a survey to find who is most affected by passive-aggressive work emails.
Passive-aggressive email statistics
This is the staggering scenario we uncovered when we asked 2,000 Americans, “Who, if anyone, have you received passive-aggressive work emails/work communication from this calendar year (2024)?”
- Nearly half (47.69%) of American workers have received passive-aggressive emails in 2024.
- The vast majority (86.09%) of these passive-aggressive emails came from within the recipient’s company.
- 32.35% of female workers and 38.41% of male workers received passive-aggressive emails from colleagues — more than from Middle or Senior Management.
- 27.96% of Gen-Z workers received passive-aggressive emails from Senior Management — more than any other age group.
- Gen-Z workers are nearly four times more likely than Senior Management to receive a passive-aggressive email from a prospect.
- Millennials (24.83%) and Gen-Z (24.73%) are more likely to receive passive-aggressive emails from clients than the older generations of Gen-X (17.77%) and Baby Boomers (13.24%).
With these figures in mind, we set out to build our passive-aggressive email-zapping Chrome extension, below.
How to use our passive-aggressive email fixer
Mailsuite’s Passive-Aggressive Emails Fixer works right inside your email tab when you install our Chrome extension:
- Click this link to go to our Passive-Aggressive Emails Fixer in the Chrome Web Store.
- Press Add to Chrome. This should install the extension in your browser.
- Use your Chrome browser’s ‘puzzle’ icon (top right) to reveal all your extensions.
- Scroll down to the Passive-Aggressive Emails Fixer to switch it on and adjust the settings.
When you have the Passive-Aggressive Emails Fixer installed and switched on, go to the Chrome tab where your emails are and refresh the page. As you write an email, the Passive-Aggressive Emails Fixer will highlight potentially passive-aggressive-sounding phrases and offer constructive alternatives. Simply click the dialogue bubble to replace the passive-aggressive phrase with our alternative.
The common passive-aggressive phrases you should remove from your emails (and what to say instead)
Our Passive-Aggressive Emails Fixer tool is a powerful way to upgrade your email performance. But to make it even more powerful, use the tool as a coach to help you figure out when particular phrases might come off as snarky — and why.
In many cases, passive-aggressive communication comes from softening the language used to express a need or feeling. But since the original intention still comes across — e.g., “If that’s what you want to do…” clearly means “I can’t stop you from doing it though I wish I could” — this lack of transparency stimulates distrust. The disagreement (aggression) is very obviously wrapped up in forced politeness (passiveness). Perhaps counter-intuitively, it can be less offensive just to be direct — and if you can be constructive at the same time, all the better: e.g., “What do you think of [alternative] instead?”
We’ve gathered 10 of the most common types of passive-aggressive phrases in the guide below, along with why they can raise heckles in the workplace and what to type instead.
Source: Mailsuite
When the email finds you well
As every effective leader knows, how you say something can be as important as the content of what you say. This is true both in verbal conversation and written communication. But at least when writing an email, you have the opportunity to pause and redraft your sentences before you click. With our Passive-Aggressive Emails Fixer tool onboard, you can be sure to say exactly what you mean — and hopefully inspire positive developments in response.
Tool Methodology
To create the Passive-Aggressive Email Fixer Chrome extension, we first compiled a list of nearly 100 passive-aggressive phrases and expressions from articles, listicles and surveys. We then constructed an alternative way to say each one that would be direct and polite without the unnecessary passive-aggressive undertones.
Infographic Sources
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