If there’s one thing that a career in marriage counseling will teach you, it’s that spouses can overcome any issue when they work through it together. It’s a lot tougher when only one person is trying to fix the problem, but there are ways to get through to an uninterested spouse and get them back on board. In this guide, we’ll explore some proven tactics to save a marriage when your spouse isn’t interested in trying to fix it.
1. Understand the Root Cause
An important first step is to understand why your partner is unhappy in the marriage and uninterested in saving it. Once you know the reasons why your spouse is refusing to co-operate with you, it becomes easier to address the problem.
Has there been a breakdown in communication or your emotional connection? Have you been arguing about suspected infidelity or money problems? Studies suggest these are among the most common reasons for a failed marriage.
2. Explain the Benefits of Marriage Counseling
If a spouse is stubborn about attending counseling, an ultimatum is rarely the answer. A better strategy is to explain the benefits of counseling sessions calmly. Official data suggests that 98% of married couples who attend counseling together are satisfied with their experience.
A counselor can act as an independent mediator and help you to address your problems from a new angle that you hadn’t considered before. Even so, be sure to get your spouse’s permission before you contact the marriage counselor. You’re unlikely to achieve a desirable result by doing it behind their back.
3. Set Achievable Goals as a Couple
If you set marriage goals that satisfy both of you, it’s usually possible to get the spouse who wasn’t trying back on board. A counselor will be able to help you to set these goals. They can also teach you how to address conflicts and resolve common issues if one partner strays off track.
Researchers have found that happy couples often set mutual goals around personal growth and companionship, as well as their own instrumental goals.
4. Make a Bigger Effort to Treat Your Partner Well
It can be difficult to find the motivation to treat your partner well when it feels like they’re no longer putting in any effort to make your marriage enjoyable. However, when you swallow your pride and start making a bigger effort to show how much you love them, you’ll often find that they feel inspired to do the same.
What were the things you used to do that made your partner fall in love with you? Can you bring these actions back into your relationship? This can go a long way to rebuilding your emotional connection, fostering mutual respect, and keeping the spark burning in your marriage.
It might feel easier to give up when your partner has stopped trying to improve your relationship, but you’ll often be a lot happier if you put the effort in to try and save your marriage instead. A happy marriage is listed among the most fulfilling experiences of human life, and it’s possible to fix yours with a little effort. Follow these four steps and see how your spouse responds; you might be pleasantly surprised!